I'm So High Right Now

Every diabetic has developed their own lingo. We deal with checking our blood sugar 4+ times a day and are continually poking and prodding ourselves. It's only natural that we develop slang. The only problem is that sometimes we forget that strangers and acquaintances aren't as accustomed to our casual (and usually smart ass) phrases as our close friends and family are.



I've put together a short, humorous list of moments that have warranted (and always will warrant) strange looks in public and/or serious concern by new friends or co-workers who weren't aware of my diabetic situation. Enjoy.

#1:
"I'll be right back. I need to go shoot up."

OK sure. I had it coming. Strangers in public aren't going to automatically assume it's life-preserving insulin. But after 9 years of taking 4 shots a day I've earned the right to edit "I'll be right back. I need to go inject myself with Novolog before I eat in order to maintain normal blood glucose levels since my pancreas does not have the ability to produce insulin on its own," into whatever jargon I like. Don't you think?

#2:
"Crap! I'm out of needles!"

And here we are at another illegal drug reference. Most people get very uncomfortable at the mention of the word "needle," and rightfully so. But to me needles are as normal as nuts in a fruitcake so I throw around the word like "amen" in church. 

I am currently in the process of moving apartments. As one of my hired professional movers was hauling a box upstairs to my new place he read the label "Needles and other drug supplies," and just laughed. "That's funny," he said, "I love it when our clients put joke labels on boxes." I just smiled and nodded. Sure, buddy.

But on a positive note, at least modern medical technology has allowed me to upgrade to simple insulin pen needles rather than full on syringes. Want to talk dirty looks and whispers? Try dropping a handful of actual syringes in your high school bathroom in front of half a dozen hometown southern Baptist PTA moms. Oh yeah.

#3:
Basically any form of "I need a shot," "I took a shot," or "I'm going to take a shot."

Why do I get raised eyebrows after saying any of the above mentioned sentences? Because when normal people hear those phrases they assume tequila. I cannot count the number of times I've said "I just took a shot" and friends assume I've just started the party early. If only.

Last night at dinner when I casually said, "I need a shot," my good friend said, "OK!" My waitress said, "We don't serve alocohol." 

#4
"Ughhhh. I'm so high right now."

Flash back to a few weeks ago to when I was working an event for my summer internship (Willie's 4th of July Picnic, to be exact.) It was as hot as, well, Texas in July and I was already thirsty on top of my less-than-perfect blood sugar level. Wiping the sweat off my forehead I exclaimed, "Ugh, I just wish I wasn't so high right now!" My very relaxed co-worker just shrugged, "I mean, it IS a Willie Nelson concert..." Ay dios mio.

Unfortunately what I really mean is that my blood sugar is in a dangerously "high" range (basically anything over 150ish.) Dude, like, whoa. 


So you're welcome, guys. Next time you hear me or my fellow diabadasses mention shooting up or taking drugs, don't call the cops. Just give us a high five.



And for those of you who found this even remotely interesting. Here is a lady who wrote a whole 70-term blog post on diabetes jargon. It's less smart ass than my list, but way more comprehensive and informative. Enjoy:

http://sixuntilme.com/blog2/2011/02/diabetes_terms_of_endearment_t.html